throughout the rest of your life, how happy you will make others, making dreams come true, and contributing to society all play a big part in the appraised value of –Šƒ–Ž‹ˆ‡Ǥdz It was the impartiality of it that broke me down. If I only ™ƒ•ǯ–Šƒ’’››•‡Žˆǡ‘”only failed to make others happy, or only failed to achieve my dreams, or only did nothing for societyȄif I had no value in just one of these things, I could take it. But to be miserable, to make no one else happy, to fail to reach my dreams, and to do nothing for society, all at once? What possible hope could there be for me in such a life? And for a twenty-year-old, the remainder of thirty years seemed much too brief. Would I fall terribly ill? Would I meet with some untimely accident? †‡…‹†‡†–‘‰‘ˆ‘”„”‘‡ƒ†ƒ•‡†ǡDzŠ›‹•–Š‡”‡•–‘ˆ›Ž‹ˆ‡•‘•Š‘”–ǫdz Dzǯ˜‡”›•‘””›ǡdz•Š‡•ƒ‹†ǡ–‹Ž–‹‰Š‡”Š‡ƒ†ǡDz„—–ƒ›ˆ—”–Š‡”‹ˆ‘”ƒ–‹‘ can only be revealed to customers who choose to sell either their time, Š‡ƒŽ–Šǡ‘”Ž‹ˆ‡•’ƒǤdz •–ƒ”‡†ƒ–Š‡”ˆ‘”‡Š‡ƒ†ƒ†…‘•‹†‡”‡†–Š‹•ǤDz ‹˜‡‡ƒ‹—–‡–‘–Š‹ ‹–‘˜‡”Ǥdz DzŽ‡ƒ•‡–ƒ‡›‘—”–‹‡ǡdz•Š‡•ƒ‹†ǡ„—–ˆ”‘–Š‡–‘‡‘ˆŠ‡”˜‘‹…‡ǡ‹–™ƒ• clear she wanted me to hurry the hell up. In the end, I chose to sell all remaining thirty years, leaving only three months. After a life of working dead-end jobs and selling my last prized books and CDs, I had lost all resistance to the idea of liquidating everything I had for cheap. While the woman read off every last part of the contract for me, I simply murmured to indicate I was there, but my mind was empty. When she asked ‹ˆŠƒ†ƒ›“—‡•–‹‘•ǡ•ƒ‹†ǡDz‘–”‡ƒŽŽ›Ǥdz I just wanted to wrap it up and get out. Out of the store. Out of my life. Dz‘— …ƒ ’‡”ˆ‘” —’ –‘ –Š”‡‡ –”ƒ•ƒ…–‹‘• ‹ –‘–ƒŽǡdz –Š‡ ™‘ƒ ‡š’Žƒ‹‡†ǤDzŠƒ–‡ƒ•›‘—Šƒ˜‡–™‘‘”‡‘’’‘”–—‹–‹‡•–‘„—›‘”•‡ŽŽŽ‹ˆ‡ •’ƒǡŠ‡ƒŽ–Šǡ‘”–‹‡Ǥdz I took the envelope with my three hundred thousand yen inside and left the building. …‘—Ž†ǯ–„‡‰‹–‘‰—‡••Š‘™–Š‡›†‹†‹–ǡ„—–†‹†‹†‡‡†ˆ‡‡Žƒ•–Š‘—‰Š ǯ†Ž‘•–›ˆ—–—”‡Ǥ–™ƒ•ƒ•‹ˆ•‘‡–Š‹‰–Šƒ–Šƒ†ˆ‹ŽŽ‡†‡–‘–Š‡…‘”‡Šƒ† been 90 percent removed from my being. Apparently, chickens can run around for a while after their heads are chopped off, and this felt close to that. You could have called me a corpse.