time. There were too many minor incidents to count. He naturally came to be disliked by most people, but what was more painful was when he did things of the utmost rudeness to the occasional person who extended their hand cordially. Their expressions when he wounded them had all burned themselves into Kousaka’s mind, without exception. If it had just been a misunderstanding that angered them or made them hate him, he could cover his ears and hang his head. But the guilt of denying a simple gesture of kindness couldn’t be rid of, not even by that superb doctor known as time. Usually, Sanagi had left the room without a word when going home, so her trying to wake Kousaka up to say goodbye might have been a sign that she’d opened her heart to him after he complimented her earring. If that was the case, then he really had stomped all over her good will. Just how long will I keep repeating this?, Kousaka wondered. “Someone might as well kill me off while I sleep,” he tried saying aloud. That idea he voiced on a whim resounded in his mind, feeling perfectly right. No doubt this is what I really want, he felt. In that case, what have I been living these 27 years for? Maybe they were 27 years of looking for a way to die. I can’t find a way to live, so I at least want to settle on how I’ll die. If that theory is correct, then as long as I find a suitable