Like many perfectionists, Kousaka’s mother liked cleanliness. When Kousaka’s room was messy or he came home looking dirty, she had a deeply sorrowful look. That was much more harsh on him than shouting or hitting. On the other hand, when Kousaka went and cleaned his room or washed his hands, she always praised him. As someone without any particular scholarly or athletic skill, these were one of few opportunities to make his mother happy. He naturally came to like cleanliness more than other children his age - within reason, however. Abnormalities began at age 9, at the end of summer. One day, Kousaka’s mother started being very kind to him, like a changed person. As if regretting her prior behavior, she discarded all the rules she’d imposed on him, and treated him very affectionately. Freed from all his limitations and able to experience an unrestricted, childlike life for the first time, Kousaka didn’t give any deep thought to the sudden change in his mother’s attitude. Occasionally, she would gently put her hand on Kousaka’s head and stroke it, repeating “I’m sorry.” He wanted to ask what she was apologizing for, but felt it might upset her if he did, so he stayed silent and let his head be stroked. He would realize afterward: She wasn’t apologizing for something she had done, but something she was about to do.