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I Want to Eat Your Pancreas

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DzŠƒ–ǯ•‹‡ǡdz•Ї•ƒ‹†ǤDz ‘™…‘‡›‘—ǯ”‡ƒ––ЇŠ‘•’‹–ƒŽǡ [Unremarkable Classmate]-—ǫdz ǯ†„ƒ”‡Ž›‡š…Šƒ‰‡†ƒˆ‡™™‘”†•™‹–Š her before this moment, and I knew nothing about her except she was cheerful and bubbly, completely unlike me. I was taken aback; someone she barely knew had come into knowledge of her serious illness. How, then, could she wear such a brave smile? I decid‡†–‘’”‡–‡† Šƒ†ǯ–”‡ƒ†ƒ›‘ˆ‹–Ǥ –™‘—ކ„‡ˆ‘”–Ї„‡•–Ȅ both for me and her. Dz Šƒ†›ƒ’’‡†‹š”‡‘˜‡†Žƒ•–™‡‡ǡdz •ƒ‹†ǤDz Šƒ†–‘‰‡––Ї •–‹–…Ї•–ƒ‡‘—–Ǥdz DzŠǡ •‡‡ǤЇ›Šƒ†–‘”—•‘‡–‡•–•‘›’ƒ…”‡ƒ•Ǥ ˆ–Ї†‘…–‘”• †‘ǯ–‡‡’ƒ‡›‡‘‹–ǡ ǯŽŽ†‹‡Ǥdz What was she doing? I was trying to be considerate, and she was shattering my efforts. I tried, unsuccessfully, to read her expression and figure out her true intentions. Her smile deepened, and she flopped onto the couch next to me. Dz •–Šƒ–•—…Šƒ•—”’”‹•‡ǫdz•Їƒ•‡†ǤЇǡƒ•…ƒ•—ƒŽŽ›ƒ•‹ˆ•Ї™‡”‡ ”‡…‘‡†‹‰ƒ›‘”ƒŽ‘˜‡Žǡ•Ї•ƒ‹†ǡDz‘—•–ƒ”–‡†”‡ƒ†‹‰‹–ǡ†‹†ǯ– youȄ‹˜‹‰™‹–Š›‹‰ǫdz I thought, ‘–Šƒ–ǯ•™Šƒ––Š‹•‹•Ȅjust some practical joke. It just happened to be me who took the bait. That we were passing acquaintances was just coincidence. DzŽŽ”‹‰Š–ǡ ǯŽŽ…‘‡…އƒǡdz•Ї•–ƒ”–‡†•ƒ›‹‰ǤŠ‹•™ƒ•‹–Ǥ‹‡–‘ ”‡˜‡ƒŽ–ЇŒ‘‡ǤDz‘—…ƒ—‰Š–‡„›•—”’”‹•‡ǤЇ ”‡ƒŽ‹œ‡†›„‘‘™ƒ• missing, I came here frantically s‡ƒ”…Š‹‰ˆ‘”‹–ǡƒ† ˆ‹†›‘—Бކ‹‰‹–Ǥdz Ї™ƒ•Ž‘•‹‰‡ǤDzŠƒ–ǯ•–Š‹•ƒŽŽƒ„‘—–ǫdz Dz›„‘‘ǤLiving with Dying. You were reading it. I started writing in ‹–ǡ‹†‘ˆŽ‹‡ƒŒ‘—”ƒŽǡƒˆ–‡” ˆ‘—†‘—–ƒ„‘—–›’ƒ…”‡ƒ•Ǥdz DzŠ‹•‹•ƒŒ‘‡ǡ”‹‰Š–ǫdz She let out a roaring laugh, undeterred by the hushed hospital setting. Dz —•–Š‘™†ƒ”ƒ•‡•‡‘ˆŠ—‘”†‘›‘—–Š‹ Šƒ˜‡ǫ‘‡–™‹•–‡†’”ƒ –Šƒ–™‘—ކ„‡Ǥ‘ǡ™Šƒ– ™”‘–‡‹•”‡ƒŽǤ›’ƒ…”‡ƒ•†‘‡•ǯ–™‘”ǡƒ† ǯ ‰‘‹‰–‘†‹‡•‘‘ǤŠƒ–ǯ•™Šƒ–‹–‹•Ǥdz I paused for a beat that stretched on to something longer. DzŠǡ‘ƒ›ǡdz •ƒ‹†Ǥ DzŠƒ–ǫdz•Ї•ƒ‹†ǡ•‘—†‹‰†‹•ƒ’’‘‹–‡†ǤDzŠƒ–ǯ•ƒŽŽ›‘—Šƒ˜‡–‘•ƒ›ǫdz