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I Want to Eat Your Pancreas

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She would never be as old as the librarian, and only she and I knew it. She had only glanced at me, but I found it about as subtle as a stage wink from some Hollywood actress telling a joke. —•––‘„‡…Ž‡ƒ”ǡ–Š‡”‡ƒ•‘ †‹†ǯ–Žƒ—‰Š™ƒ•ǯ–„‡…ƒ—•‡her joke was too risky. Rather, I was irritated by her self-satisfied, ‘‘ƒ–‡ǡ ǯ•ƒ›‹‰ something funny expression. She returned my sullen lack of reaction with a sharp, frustrated glare, and she kept it on me until I finally offered her a slight upturn of a smile. We sat in the closed library for about a half an hour before deciding to go home. It was just past six in the evening when we reached the shoe cubbies ‹•‹†‡–Š‡•…Š‘‘Žǯ•‡–”ƒ…‡ǡ„—––Š‡•—™ƒ••–‹ŽŽ‰‘‹‰•–”‘‰ǤŠ”‘—‰Š–Š‡ open doorway came the energetic voices of student athletes practicing after school sports. Dz –•—”‡™ƒ•Š‘–‹•‹†‡–Š‡”‡–‘†ƒ›ǡdz–Š‡‰‹”Ž•ƒ‹†Ǥ Dz‡ƒŠǡdz ”‡’Ž‹‡†Ǥ Dz Š‘’‡‹–ǯ•‘––Šƒ–„ƒ†–‘‘””‘™Ǥ–Ž‡ƒ•–ƒˆ–‡”–Šƒ–ǡ‹–ǯŽŽ„‡–Š‡ ™‡‡‡†Ǥdz Dz‡ƒŠǡdz ”‡’Ž‹‡†Ǥ Dz”‡›‘—Ž‹•–‡‹‰–‘‡ǫdz•Š‡ƒ•‡†Ǥ Dz ǯŽ‹•–‡‹‰Ǥdz I exchanged my indoor school slippers for my outdoor shoes and ™‡–‘—–•‹†‡Ǥ ˆ”‘–‘ˆ–Š‡„—‹Ž†‹‰ǯ•ƒ‹‡–”ƒ…‡™ƒ•ƒ•ƒŽŽ…‘—”–›ƒ”† and the front gate, with the sports grounds on the opposite side of the school. As I walked, the voices of the baseball and rugby players gradually dimmed. Stomping her feet, my classmate caught up to me and demanded, Dz‹†ǯ–ƒ›‘‡‡˜‡”–‡ƒ…Š›‘—–‘Ž‹•–‡™Š‡‘–Š‡”’‡‘’Ž‡ƒ”‡–ƒŽ‹‰ǫdz Dz—”‡ –Š‡›†‹†Ǥ •ƒ‹† ™ƒ•Ž‹•–‡‹‰Ǥdz DzŽŽ”‹‰Š––Š‡ǡ•‘™Šƒ–™ƒ• –ƒŽ‹‰ƒ„‘—–ǫdz –Š‘—‰Š–ƒ‘‡–ǡ–Š‡•ƒ‹†ǡDzŠ‡ƒŒ——Ǥdz ‹–Š–Š‡…Š‡‡”ˆ—Ž…Š‹†‹‰‘ˆƒ†ƒ›…ƒ”‡–‡ƒ…Š‡”ǡ•Š‡•ƒ‹†ǡDz‘—™‡”‡ǯ– Ž‹•–‡‹‰Ǩ‘——•–ǯ––‡ŽŽŽ‹‡•Ǥdz I was short for a boy my age, and she was tall for a girl, which left us at about the same height. There was something refreshing about being scolded by someone just a little bit shorter than me.